Oh dear, I really do seem to be doing a shockingly bad job of keeping my poor blog up-to-date. Last time I posted I’d just had the first ipi/nivo treatment. Amazingly I’ve now made it through all four of them. It seems extraordinary that 3 months can have passed so quickly and that despite all my concerns I’ve made it through this phase without any serious problems. I’m very tired. I’ve been having to limit how much I do but I’m still out training in the park twice a week, keeping up my pilates, seeing friends, looking after my family. However I’m more careful about how much I squeeze into my week –  I don’t want to be out late in the evening, I haven’t got the energy to do large scale baking so no pop-shops for me and I’m trying to make sure I get plenty of rest. I’m extremely lucky to have got through with so few problems so am definitely not complaining but I can really feel the difference in terms of energy levels to how I felt during that lovely 10 month break from treatment. Other than that, my face keeps going an attractive flushed red, my mouth is rather dry and my shins keep being ludicrously itchy. These are all very minor issues and none of them are causing me any real concern.

So, the first phase of treatment is complete and I had a Brain MRI and CT scan last Monday so once again I’m waiting for results. Ironically when I was on the trial and under the NHS it was also possible to have a scan in the morning and I’d receive the results in the afternoon, this time, because of the timing of the private clinics I’m having to wait a full week. As always, the pre-scan nerves are running high. I’m swinging between feeling optimistic as physically I feel very well, feeling nervous that something unexpected will surface and feeling absolutely damn terrified that the treatment won’t have worked at all and the tumours will have grown and multiplied over the last 4 months. Scan time is always stressful and I’ve talked before how about how each scan brings with it a special set of worries, anxieties and a degree of paranoia. This one is no different. The worry is immense. Roll on Monday….


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