I have terrible blog-guilt. I realise now that the urge to write tends to come hand in hand with the waves of anxiety that somewhat inevitably continue to haunt me and I’m not comfortable with the idea that my writing is all self-indulgent whinging.
So tonight I’m sitting at home feeling very lucky. My Christmas tree is making me disproportionately happy. I’ve spent a really wonderful day hanging around with my boys and watching a ludicrous number of films and the next few days will be filled with family, friends and all things lovely. This will be my third Christmas since the ‘bad diagnosis’ and joyfully this one will not be sandwiched between hospital appointments filled with cannulas and treatment. I still can’t really believe it.
The thought of 2016 makes me very very nervous and so for now I am determinedly not thinking about it but the thoughts are beginning to sneak in so I’m sure there’ll be another post soon filled with all my fears and anxieties about what a new year will bring but that is not for today. Today is a good day, days like today are the ones that I’m most grateful for – they are filled with silliness and love. What more could I want.