One of the ironies of my situation is that when you know your time is a lot shorter than it ought to be you imagine that you can at least fill your time with amazing ‘bucket-list’ type holiday adventures and yet booking holidays and forward-planning is a minefield.
On the one hand, Andy and I and the boys have been away more over the last 22 months than we ever have before. We have, whenever there has been an opportunity, indulged ourselves with amazing breaks in beautiful houses and hotels throughout England as well as our annual trip to Greece and our holiday of a lifetime trip to New York. We have been incredibly spoilt and very lucky. However, every break or holiday we have booked as had to be done very last minute. They are always booked on the back of a good scan and I wouldn’t dare do it any other way. Ultimately this is absolutely fine. We will get to do very lovely things and go to very lovely places but I do miss the lovely excitement and anticipation of knowing that a lovely holiday is in the future. Again, it is a very real reminder that our lives are not normal and that nothing can be taken for granted.
Back in March, when I was suffering from the side effects of the drugs and was on my first dose of steroids we were hoping to get away for some Easter sunshine. The borough I live in was having a late school holiday and the second week of the boys’ break fell out of traditional school holiday season and so there were lots of amazing holidays available.
I spent ages plotting and hoping that we would be able to book one. Andy has booked the week off, I scoured the internet trying to pin down whether The Canaries will provide a sufficient degree of warmth, whether we’ll opt for a villa with a pool or try a hotel However because the pesky Melanoma has reared it’s head it threw a side-effect shaped spanner into the works. So, booking that holiday was for once not dependent upon a good scan, it was dependent on whether I was still on the steroids that were controlling the side effects and the timing of a potential next treatment. As I’ve said on a previous post – we did end up going on a lovely holiday. I had been off the steroids for a couple of days and the next treatment was booked for the week I returned. As it turned out this was the one clear window as the symptoms re-occurred within 24 hours of returning home but it makes me realise how lucky we were that I was so well when away.
Today is the 17th of July, Andy has two weeks holiday booked for the middle of August but as yet we haven’t booked a holiday because once again I’m waiting for a scan. My next scan is the 23rd July and if that’s OK we’ll book something but until then I feel like it’s too risky. On the one hand I haven’t been able to get travel insurance that covers my melanoma and so if anything were to arise it would be very expensive and on the other hand I think there’s a degree of superstition that I fear any sign of complacency will somehow translate into a bad scan. Perhaps not entirely logical but I feel perfectly understandable!